Sugar Rush

To all High School Musical fans out there! I’m sure this blog entry will sound very familiar to you. This is the song Gabriella sang when she was hurt. And trust me, I know how she felt =( For the first time, I couldn’t find the right words to express how I felt. Then I came across this song. This song sums up best how I really feel about you. But I’m letting go now. I just have to…

P.S. You don’t know who you are. And I like it that way.

P.P.S. The thoughts enclosed in parenthesis are my interpretations…or…whatever.

                       When There Was Me and You

It’s funny when you find yourself

Looking from the outside

(This is the time when I got to evaluate myself and I realized that it was all so wrong.)

I’m standing here

But all I want is to be over there

(When I finally got to step back and breakaway from you, I wanted to go back to where I was before.)

Why did I let myself believe

Miracles could happen

(Wow! I was really foolish for hoping!)

‘Cause now I have to pretend

That I don’t really care

I thought you were my fairytale

My dream when I’m not sleeping

A wish upon a star that’s coming true

(I’ll stop wishing on stars after this)

But everybody else could tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

(I was really stupid for doing that)

When there was me and you

(There really wasn’t a “me and you”)

I swore I knew the melody

That I heard you singing

(I shouldn’t have listened to you)

And when you smiled

You made me feel

Like I could sing along

But then you went and changed the words

Now my heart is empty

I’m only left with used-to-be’s

And once upon a song

(It will a long time ’till I see you again)

I know you’re not a fairytale

And dreams are meant for sleeping

(So much for daydreaming)

And wishes on a star

Just don’t come true

(That was really childish of me)

‘Cause now even I can tell

That I confused my feelings with the truth

(The heart is really deceitful)

Because I liked the view

When there was me and you

I can’t believe that I could be so blind

(Not again!)

It’s like you were floating

While I was falling

And I didn’t mind

(So foolish of me! You are so out of my league)

because I liked the view

I thought you felt it too

When there was me and you =(

          Girls. It’s a five-letter word but it’s got a complex definition, a melting pot of all characteristics, etc. I guess one thing that I don’t like with the whole "girl package" is the fact that we tend to overanalyze everything.

          I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so stupid!!!!!! I hate my brain for overanalyzing everything.

          What am I trying to say here? I definitely don’t want to be like Cinderella. Sitting in a way-old dusty cellar. Waiting for somebody to come and set me free (I know. It’s a song. But who cares?). =( =( =(

       Don’t get me wrong. I don’t really HATE flip-flops. I  just…hate them (am I making any sense?). I’m so used to wearing heels/wedges that I wear them EVERYDAY. Flip-flops are cute. They’re comfy and all. It’s just that I don’t know how to walk in them. I always get my feet dirty. If not, I always feel that my feet are dirty. Whatever.

       Another reason why I don’t feel comfortable when I’m wearing flip-flops is because it makes me feel small. =( Everyone says that flip-flops are comfy but for me, I find wedges way comfier.

       Hmm…why am I writing this? It’s because I had a "traumatic" experience earlier when I wore my brown (and cute) flip-flops. The road was muddy because it was drizzling. I thought I could make it to my destination without my beloved heels. But I was wrong. As I got to my friends’ boarding house, my toenails was so icky. And I noticed that my favorite pink handbag and lavender umbrella was dirty!!!! Argh!!!

        Moral of the story? NEVER WEAR FLIP-FLOPS ON A RAINY DAY IF YOU’RE A NOT A FLIP-FLOP PERSON!!!!

        We meet a few lost souls in our lives. When I say "lost souls" I mean people who seem lost…who are not happy. People who do not know God. The sad thing here is, you could have helped them before they had the chance to turn to the "dark side". These "lost souls" are good people. Good people who are merely influenced by the bad side. I’m not saying that they are bad bad. They just…reject God. It’s so sad, isn’t it?

         I have met "lost souls". They were willing to change. They were. But where are they now? They are currently walking down the wrong path. I want to run after them. To tell them that the road they are taking would lead them to nowhere. They are walking in darkness. Hoping to find light at the end. But, "If you would just turn back…it’s not yet too late."

         I can’t do anything about it now. All I can do is to pray and lift it all up to Him. Don’t worry, friend. If you ever need help…someone to lean on…I’m here. If you find life empty and you’re not satisfied when you turn in for the night…I’m praying for you. If only you know that I’m talking to you…

   "No matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love." –1 Corinthians 13:3b

    Let me ask you this question. What matters most in your life? Is it academic excellence? Your work? Beating others? Do you find yourself feeling empty everytime you turn in for the night? Like you never did anything worthwhile during the day. What did you do with the 24 hours God gave you?

    In this century, everyone goes through life as if it’s a race. They don’t want to stop for a second because they think that if thay do, people would go ahead. They dread failure.

   Do you want to know a secret? This secret can be summed up in two words. LOOSEN UP. Don’t be too hard on your self if you fail. Don’t take life too seriously. Life’s too short! Slow down your pace for a while. Spend some time with yourself even if it’s just a few minutes or an hour. Reflect on everything that you have done and ask yourself if you are satisfied. Take in the small things in life and realize that a genuine smile, a touch, reassuring words, and laughter can make your day. Learn to accept the good with the bad. Remember that you can’t have it all. If worse turns to worst and you think that there is no way out, just relax. Take a deep breath and pause for a moment. Smell the coffee before gulping it. Realize the power of a brisk walk to refresh your mind. Whenever you feel blue, drink a cup of hot chocolate and sleep. You’ll wake up feeling refreshed, trust me on this. =)

   And of course, invest in your relationships. Spend some time with your family and friends. Talk over cups of coffee on a wonderful afternoon. Realize that God is good. Laugh with your friends. Cry with them. Talk to them. Make time for them.

   Time is your most precious asset. Time is the best gift you can give to someone. It beats giving a diamond ring. You can earn money but you can’t buy time. Think about this: if you were given 24 million pesos to spend in one day. What would you do with it?

   So, what matters most in life? Relationships. When you’re on your deathbed, would you say, "Bring me my medals, ribbons, and awards. I want to look at them one last time before I go." Would you say that? Doesn’t it sound ridiculous? Think about it.

   "The best use of time is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now."

     Never underestimate the power of family, friends, laghter, hugs, chocolate, coffee, and LOVE. 

When I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up. Couldn’t wait to wear those cool grown-up clothes. Couldn’t wait to experience college life where I would be (semi)independent, meet new people, and just be the person I wanted to be. I guess I didn’t realize that bigger problems and trials come with the “cool” grown-up package. Now, I want to be a kid again and go back to the simplicity of life, petty problems and all.

I couldn’t forget the summer of 2000 when my mom enrolled me for the second time at my favorite workshop, the Summer Reading Adventure at National Bookstore. I had always loved reading even as a child and I couldn’t forget the feeling and the rush that comes to me whenever I enter a bookstore. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the books and take a whiff of the heavenly scent a new book gives off. I still feel that now but it has lessened over the years.

I miss the place. The green carpeted floor, colorful kiddie chairs and tables, shelves full of books and it served as walls to separate us from the rest of the store. I made friends and loved the activities. On our first day, we played Human Bingo. It’s a great way to get acquainted with each other without getting bored with the usual “I ams”. The storytelling was my favorite part because our teacher would read aloud and we were given a chance to predict what would happen next. We always had lively discussions as different, and often wild, ideas pour out of our mouths. I also loved the journals they gave us. Where we could write down our opinions about the books we’ve read. On our second day, we read more books, talked and wrote about them, and played some games. We also had a tour around the bookstore. This is my favorite activity because I definitely want to see lots of books. Then on our third day and last day, we had a party. We chose our favorite character from the books we’ve read for the last two days and made a puppet for a guessing game. I chose the boy from “Never Say Macbeth” and found it really funny because I made his black, curly hair the way I would draw a tree. I can’t say that I had fun with the puppet-making activity because drawing had never been my forte. I had tons of help from my teachers so my puppet looked decent than if I did it alone. Then, we had a really noisy guessing game. Unfortunately, one boy from the other team guessed who my character was before our team could say “Pikachu!”. Even though our team was defeated, we still had fun screaming our heads off whenever we couldn’t get the right answer. Then, snacks were served. We were given Chamyto, ice cream, and yoghurt. Before eating, our group made a rule. The person who wouldn’t be able to finish his/her food would be called “witch”. It was all for the name of fun. When I was younger, I had a small appetite and was fully aware of it. Nevertheless, I agreed to the rule and , ironically, was even the first one to do so. When I had difficulty finishing my ice cream, my eyes welled up with tears. I knew it. I knew that I would be the witch. Images of an old woman with a big, warty nose, an evil stare and a high-pitched cackle. That thought made me cry even more until my groupmates noticed fat tears rolling down my cheeks. As expected, they did call me a witch. If only Harry Potter was a huge thing at that time, I wouldn’t have minded being called a witch.

Looking back, I realized that the “witch episode” wasn’t really bad at all. In fact, it was childish. It is definitely nothing compared to the worries I now face in college. I think this is the beauty of life. One moment you think it’s your biggest problem, the next minute, it seems petty. As I wrote earlier, I want to be a kid again. If only I could turn back time, I would gladly go back to the way it was, taunts and shallow worries included.

   I don’t know if I should say this. This feeling has been in me ever since January 27, 2007. *deep breath* Okay. I’ll say it. I’m scared to debate. The scaredy-cat in me resurfaced. And I really hate it. Yes, I read but I doubt I’ll be able to spurt out information and talk about it in 7 minutes. I really find it scary. Though I love to talk, I’m not sure if I’m ready for this kind of speaking. I’m willing to improve, though. And I’m trying my best to be a sponge. Heck, I want to be the best sponge. So that I’ll be able to absorb everything and learn.

  I remember the first time I came across the word "debate". I was in the fourth grade and I was so crazy about Baby-Sitters’ Club books by Ann M. Martin. I was reading Kristy and the Kidnapper. It was set in Washington D.C. and there was a debate tournament. I was intrigued by debating and I actually thought it was cool. But the motion given to Kristy’s team was "Cats make better pets than dogs". And Kristy is a dog-lover. I really found that motion pretty easy to defend even though I’m a cat-lover. I guess I didn’t know that motions aren’t as easy as that.I remember feeling inspired and would feel a rush whenever Kristy’s team debates. Debating was a dream for me back then.

   Now that my chance to fulfill my dream is finally here, why am I scared?   

This song by Jaci Velasquez really moved me. I would like to share it with you and hopefully, you’ll learn something. =)

LOrd you know my heart

and all my desires.

And the secret things, I’ll never tell

Lord you know them well.

Though I may be young

I see and understand

That at times like sheep we go astray

and things get out of hand

So I promise to be true to You

To live my life in purity as unto You

Waiting for the day when I hear You say

"Here is the one I have created just for you."

UNtil then ,oh LOrd

I will be content knowing that true love will come someday

It will only come from YOu

‘Cause I have seen the suffering that loneliness can cause

If you choose to give your love away without a righteous cause.

Always remember that "the reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interferring with God’s work within us."–A.W. Tozer

Atencion! If you really care for the country…if you are looking for ways to make the Philippines a better place…then you better know these things…

The Philippines is where…

1. Starbucks is more expensive than gas

2. Every street has a basketball court but every town has just one school.

3. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.

4. Everything is spoofed!

5. Fastfood is a diet meal.

6. Rodents are normal house pets.

7. Cigarette and beer are a necessity, lottery is a commodity.

8. Soap opera is reality, news provide the dramas of life.

9. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the entertainment.

Sad…but extremely true. =(

  Have you ever felt that you were alone? Alone in pursuing your interests even when you’re with people who say they are into the same thing? Have you ever felt irritated by the nega vibes they radiate? That it comes to a point wherein you have a lot to say but you have no choice and forced to keep your mouth shut because you’re afraid to say things that you may regret in the long run?

  I have. And it doesn’t feel good. Whatever happened to "stay with the people who care so that their optimism would rub-off on you and together you’ll make a difference"? I guess it’s just something I read and have never applied to my life no matter how hard I try.

  It gets really annoying and I know that you have felt the same thing at least once in your life. You try your best to improve your life because you simply refuse to stay the same. Then you meet people who simply refuse to change no matter how hard you try to see things from their point of view. They are contented with being mediocre for the rest of their life.

  I know that it takes real commitment for you to resist these negative vibes that refuse to leave you. Real commitment and self-control. I wonder if they are aware that life is too short to be wasted. Ako ang nasasayangan sa kanilang buhay sapagkat hindi nila alam kung paano maging mas mabuting tao. May kakayahan sila…but they refuse to use it.