Sugar Rush

When was the last time that you truly felt satisfied by what you’re doing? When was the last time that you felt you were doing something worthwhile? When was the last time that you felt so happy because you finally found a nook where you could belong and develop into the person that you want to be and be with amazingly witty people at the same time? I am not talking about a clique. I am talking about an amazing org composed of factions making it so interesting as it’s a melting pot of all kinds of behavior and ideas and you can actually learn from them. All that happened to me yesterday.

I was this lost person. Well…not EXACTLY lost. Just…..lost (am I making any sense?). I didn’t have an outlet where I could pour my energy and improve at the same time. I have always loved talking. Problem is that I don’t know how to organize my thoughts and really squeeze my brain to voice out everything that’s in the back of my mind. Though I haven’t painted the person that I want to be in the future, joining the DebSoc is a brush stroke to completing that portrait. I know I can’t make that portrait as perfect as want it to be, but I know that I am truly satisfied by that single brush stroke yesterday. Eventually, everything will fall into place and I would be…satisfied.
To quote Sydney J. Harris, an American journalist, “Few men ever dropped dead from overwork, but many curl up and die because of UNDERSATISFACTION.”

Who has watched Alice in Wonderland? You know, the girl who shrunk, chased a rabbit, chased by a queen, painted the roses red…oh, what am I talking about? Of course you all know this classic tale. So, could you just raise your right hand and say, "Yes"?

I never relly liked the story. Everytime I watch the movie, I feel trapped and helpless. Even though the movie is amusing and brilliant, I still find it downright scary. But the scariest part for me is when the invisible cat (I forgot his name. So, if you happen to know, will you be kind enough to tell me? Thanks!) appears out of nowhere with his sinister smile first. I tell you, the cat’s smile is similar to the queen’s. That is just S-C-A-R-Y. What made me remember that smile?

Last Monday, my friends and I were in my friend’s van on our way to the pier from Cebu to Dumaguete. One of my friends saw the moon and I was reminded of The Cat. The moon was like smiling at me. I was half expecting that a cat would appear out of nowhere and…aaaagh! It’s too scary for me to recall.

I know that Alice in Wonderland is considered as a children’s story. I had my fair share of fairy tales (Sleeping Beauty is my all time favorite but when it comes to the movie versions, I would have to say that Beauty and the Beast, Anastasia, and The Little Mermaid top my list, in that order.). But Alice in Wonderland was just too real for me.

Kudos to the person who wrote Alice in Wonderland. It’s a good story as it makes the reader or viewer involved in the story (too involved, in my case).

The body decays but the soul is forever, right? Wrong. The soul dies, too. How? It’s like this. You start life very excited and can’t wait for the future to unfold. You’re in primary school, then you can’t wait to experience high school life. You graduate from high school, then you can’t wait to start college and be "free". After college, you can’t wait to work because you want to be independent and be FREE in every sense of the word. You live life always anticipating for something to happen. In short, you can’t wait for the future.

I am a first year Mass Communication student. I love my classes except for Math. Though I learn to love Math and think that it is gymnastics for the brain, well…you know what I’m going to say next. =p

My soul is very much alive right now. But I’m not telling you that it has never been crushed. My soul was crushed a thousand times. But even though I fall down seven times, I stand up eight. I am filled with dreams for the future. But I am too ashamed to write them down here because they might seem too much for you and may think of me as a…well…whatever you want to think of me.

All I’m saying is, don’t lose hope. Hold on to your dreams the same way that you would hold on to dear life if you were hanging off the edge of a cliff. It’s important to keep your soul intact because that is the fuel of your existence. To quote Justine Megan Yu, a writer for the Weekly Sillimanian, " The absence of passion and vision is boredom and mediocrity. They’re the death of a soul." 

You wouldn’t want to live a mediocre and boring life, would you?   

Remember the time when your mom won’t let you eat chewing gum because you don’t know how to eat one yet? Remember the time when your mom just won’t let you play your bride doll because you haven’t washed your hands properly? Remember the time when your only dilemma was looking for the keys to the cabinet so you could play with your Barbies? I do. And somehow, I find myself longing to experience it again.

Life back then was so simple. But my enemies were impatience and curiosity. I was impatient in the sense that I couldn’t wait to be old enough so that my mom would allow me to eat gum. Old enough to wear the clothes that I wanted to wear but couldn’t because thay were "grown-up clothes". I couldn’t wait to be 13 years old (I was a big fan of The Baby-Sitters’ Club series and the characters were all 13-year-olds and I found them cool), couldn’t wait to be 16, wondered how it felt like to be 18. I was curious of things that were exclusively for grown-ups. I was longing to break free from the cage I was in. But now that I am |(semi) free, I wanted to go back to those dilemmas. I don’t have to worry about reports, budgeting my allowance, etc. *sigh* Alas, I can’t do anything no matter how much | want to turn back time. Life goes on and soon, algebra won’t seem to be as tedious as it is now (I wish!).