Sugar Rush

I was nine years old when I first saw Titanic. It touched my heart and it had been one of my favorite movies. I had nothing to do last weekend so I watched it again. I realized that I didn’t really pay enough attention to what I was watching! I didn’t know that the Titanic sank on April 15, 1912. Whatever. A nine year-old would never pay attention to those nitty-gritty details. Anyway, I watched the movie and pretended that I never saw it before. I watched the movie through the eyes of a sixteen year-old. I gave the movie my 100% attention and it still pinched my heart the way it did when I was nine. Though, I didn’t find Leonardo DiCaprio as cute as before. I felt sorry for the people who died. I felt disgust at the “first-class people” who were saved first. To me, it just wasn’t fair. But then again, who said life was fair? It is very wrong to deny that harsh truth.
I returned to reality after almost three hours…and I felt good. To everyone who gets to read this entry, I recommend watching again a movie you loved when you were kids and make sure to pay attention to the details. It definitely feels good. =)

"Have you ever realized that when people say you’ve changed, it’s just bacause you stopped living your life…THEIR WAY?"

That statement is so true. I always experience that. Have you ever felt that the people you considered as friends would hurt you in a subtle way? The jokes that were once funny…it just irritates you now. CHANGE IS THE ONLY CONSTANT THING IN THE WORLD. I expect change. It’s just that when it finally comes…it just hurts so much because you already love the way things are…

I am disappointed today…but I’m not gonna tell you why. I just doubt my capabilities more than ever. I keep on asking myself if I’m good enough to finally excel at one thing. I thought I won’t be hurt because I never really intended to try out. But the very thought that I wasn’t good enough to be accepted really hit home and bruised my ego. Good thing I managed not to cry in front of my friends. Good thing I was distracted by reading a good book and sipping cappuccino. But it didn’t make me feel better. I kept on recalling what I did that day that made everything wrong. My world is topsy-turvy again…and I hate it. I wanted to excel in something! I keep reminding myself that all this hurt is part of the process of finding my nook. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I must be a good actress ’cause I’m still able to smile at everyone and act as if nothing is wrong. I’m trying to find a reason why this is happening. And while I’m searching for that reason…the hunger within me just grew bigger. I want to improve myself even more. Because I am NOT A LOSER. I AM NOT A GIVER-UPPER. AND I REFUSE TO BE ONE.

I got to watch Amanda Bynes’ movie titled "She’s the Man". It’s fun-filled and full of unexpected twists. Though the movie is good, it’s a great example of gender discrimination. Even though we’re living in the 21st century, some people still look down to females. Some people just can’t believe that girls can kick butt. I’m not telling you to do what Amanda did in the movie. That’s an exaggerated fight for the rights of women. But the movie clearly tells us that women shouldn’t be underestimated. That’s a wrap!